How I Broke My Situationship Curse

January 29, 2017 by Miss T.N. King

"Sometimes in life, your situation will keep repeating itself until you've learned your lesson."

I remember feeling shocked and disappointed as I was reading my diary entries from more than a year ago. Here I was still dealing with the same mess--situationships. More specifically, I kept falling for men who were emotionally unavailable to me. One minute we would be super close then the next minute they were "too busy" (cycle repeats). I found myself on the same emotional roller coaster, going back and forth between telling myself "we're just friends" to wondering "what are we?". I think one of the main reasons good quality Queens foolishly remain in situationships is the idea of "what if".

An Open Letter to the Guy I Wanted

November 01, 2016 by Miss T.N. King in 'Sincerely KING' Blog

Everyone sees me, except you. Everyone sees our potential, except you. Everyone sees the sincerity of my heart, except you. Till this day I'll never know why you were blinded to a love so obvious, consistent and pure. Here you had a woman and close friend who's always had your back and would've done anything for you. My loyalty had no expiration and my support was unwavering. But despite me fitting the perfect mold of your ideal woman, you still didn't give us a real chance.

The Power in Telling a Man 'NO'

August 16, 2016 by Miss T.N. King in 'Sincerely KING' Blog, Uncategorized

"NO" is one of the most powerful, yet underused words in the dictionary. Perhaps you were once like me, a "yes woman". You go out your way to make others happy; you're overly accommodating. Sometimes you find yourself biting off more than you can chew. You try to please everyone, even at the risk of inconveniencing yourself. You prove your loyalty and support by always being there and saying "yes". You rarely say NO and the few times you say it, it would always be followed by the word "but". "No, BUT...*insert another way to overextend yourself*."

I don't know about you, but it seemed like the more I said "yes", the more I was taken for granted. I turned into a doormat. I felt powerless and unappreciated. I went from being the priority to the option. I was served grade A shit on a silver platter and expected to eat it (unfortunately, some days I did). And like a dusty pair of flared jeans from '07, I was just hanging in the closet waiting for him to put me on. Eventually I grew courage and developed the strength to say NO--sometimes HELL NO if I was really fed up. Then something magical happened: I was able to reclaim my power.

What If You Never Meet 'The One'?

July 06, 2016 by Miss T.N. King in 'Sincerely KING' Blog, Uncategorized

I've spent my entire life under the assumption that one day I'll meet my King and become his Queen. I've spent all of my relationships putting forth endless effort--gluing broken pieces just to still have an ornament of love. I've spent my season of singleness trying to be a "virtuous" woman--remaining God-fearing, abstaining from sex for 4+ years, encouraging/uplifting others, loving without limits, being moral, etc. Then it finally hit me, "I'm doing all of this and I still may never find my life partner to share mutual love, romance, commitment and companionship. Is it even worth abstaining from sex in hopes of sharing a special moment with a man that may not exist? Does being the good girl really pay off?" To this very day, these type of questions haunt me. My last serious committed relationship ended 4 years ago. Never in a million years I thought I would remain a single woman for the next 4+ years, or not find someone who cares about me as much as I care about them. After all, I've always been considered a great catch--the good ones don't get left behind right? While I was in deep thought I asked myself, "What happens if you don't find your life partner in another 4 years, and then 4 more years after that, and so forth? How does life look for you? Will you hit rock bottom and act erratically because your prayers have remained unanswered? Will you settle for some man that you don't truly love for the sake of companionship? Will you let your self-confidence diminish and believe you're not enough?"

Tired of Waiting for Your Soulmate, Dream Job or Financial Breakthrough? Tell Yourself This!

March 14, 2016 by Miss T.N. King in 'Sincerely KING' Blog, Uncategorized

Even I still have my freak out moments--moments where I begin to lose faith & patience. Even after God puts a vision in my heart & tells me "I will lead you to this, just trust me", I still fall short and try to take matters in my own hands. I begin to put my faith & trust into the things around me instead of the One who lives in me. If you've ever began to lose hope or grow weary while waiting on your "happily ever after"--whether that includes a career change, new relationship, promotion, new car, house, financial gain/increase, marriage, etc--remember: God is faithful, we are forgetful.

Sex & Situationships

February 23, 2016 by Miss T.N. King in 'Sincerely KING' Blog, Uncategorized

Fighting sexual temptation is not easy at all. I've been doing it for almost 4 years. Though it's been a challenge and struggle at times, it's been a huge blessing for me. I can't think of a man that I regret not having sex with. When I look back on all the men I've dated these past few years, I don't think "Geez! I should've had sex with him. I made a huge mistake not giving him my body & making him 'another number'!" At the end of the day, when the "honeymoon phase" was over, I was able to see their true colors loud and clear. Withholding sex gave me better judgement and as a result it was easier for me to walk away from peasants. Now please don't get it twisted. I'm human--I get urges & have desires.

SHUT UP ASKING FOR YOUR HUSBAND!!!

August 25, 2015 by Miss T.N. King in 'Sincerely KING' Blog

Yes ladies I said it: SHUT UP ASKING FOR YOUR HUSBAND! I used to be one of those pathetic women praying dearly every night for God to send me my husband. "Oh God, when are you going to send him?!" I used to spend so many nights fantasizing about my happily ever after. I've spent nights crying in frustration because I got tired of dating those who I already knew weren't "the one" deep down. But then one day, I got tired of complaining. I got tired of waiting. I got tired of having the same old sorry, repetitive prayer to God! I decided to SHUT THE HECK UP AND ENJOY MY LIFE!

There's more to life than marrying a man! Shocking right?! Yes! I know society places big emphasis on a woman's relationship status. If a woman is not married by 30, she's automatically "weird". Something must be wrong with her! After all, a man's opinion of you and decision to offer you a commitment determines your self-worth. THAT'S A LIE! (For those who can't sense my sarcasm).