Have you ever felt like God has forgotten about you? Do you ever grow tired and weary from being obedient and doing what’s right? Have you ever thought when will I see a victory in this situation? I have and most recently did. My beautiful world got interrupted and turned upside down (I’ll share that story another day). It felt like I took blow after blow. And in that season, I decided to do some serious spiritual, mental and emotional work on myself. I prayed fervently, fasted, meditated, did deep reflecting, listened to sermons, sought therapy, wrote affirmations, visualized, read books and the Word, and everything you can think of under the sun. And I kept doing it… kept doing it... kept doing it… And nothing in my circumstances changed. The world around me appeared to remain the same. :-/

I felt like God had forgotten and forsaken me. I remember thinking: “God you see me pressing into you. You see how pure my heart is. You see my pain. You hear my prayers and know my desires. Why isn’t anything changing?! Why am I going through this? You’re the God of miracles and can do all things. I’ve seen you transform so many other people’s circumstances, why not mine?! Why not me?! Have you forgotten about me?!”

In the midst of my circumstance and outcry I heard the Holy Spirit say “Be still and know that I am God. Stay planted and do no thing.”

Wait God, you mean I’m supposed to do NO THING?! How is everything going to work out then!? 

“Yes, because I want to work out everything without your interference because I’m going to get the glory when it’s all said and done. No one is going to be able to take credit for what I’m about to do.”

These are not easy instructions to follow when you have a Type A, got to know everything & be in control personality like me. For some reason, I think I need to help God out because He doesn’t know what He’s doing. Ha!

If I’m honest with you, somedays I get tired and begin to doubt if it’s all worth it. Does God really hear me? Is this whole spiritual journey just a bunch of babble and nonsense? I began to think God has forgotten about me. I felt unseen, unheard and alone. If I could describe it best, I felt like a seed planted underground. 

When I started to have all of these thoughts and feelings, the Holy Spirit convicted me on 2 things: faith and patience.

First, let’s talk about faith. Where is your yours?! Is your faith in the things you can see? Your job, spouse, degree, bank account, significant other, social media stats, doctor, acceptance letters, network?! We can tell where we put our faith based on where we put our trust and hope.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews: 11:1).

God requires us to walk by faith in order to receive our promises. It’s not faith if you can SEE it. I’m going to say that again: It’s not faith if you can SEE it. You’re not suppose to see it. You’re not suppose to see it unfolding or working out. It took me forever to accept this hard truth about faith. Just because you can’t see things working out does not mean God isn’t working it out. He is ALWAYS working things out for your good if you love him. In Jeremiah 29:11, God says He has plans to prosper you, not harm you and plans that will give you hope and a future. 

Now onto the other thing God had to wreck me about: Patience. Let me give you the definition of patience. It is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

What is your attitude and heart posture as you are waiting on God and your deepest desires to manifest?! Are you angry, upset, worrisome, or complaining?! Patience isn’t about just letting time pass; it’s about letting time pass while having an attitude of gratitude, peace, and joy.

I remember one time I was venting my frustration to God about Him not moving fast enough for me. I thought I was being patient but once I read the definition of patience I knew I had it all wrong. I remember I would make up little deadlines for God in my mind. And when He kept not meeting the deadlines in my head, I knew I had to just surrender to the divine timing of the universe. My heart posture shifted from “God you need to do this by *insert date*” to “God, I don’t care how long it takes, I’m not going to rush ahead of you. I trust you.”

Ask yourself: are you really resting in God’s timing? Do you grow hasty, anxious and impulsive once something you wanted doesn’t happen when you want?!  Do you find yourself constantly complaining about your situation?! How long are you willing to stay planted and walk by faith?!

“Let your hope keep you joyful, be patient in your troubles, and pray at all times.” (Romans’ 12:12).

Here’s the truth I’ve learned about patience. If you are in a season of waiting, God isn’t making you wait because He’s mean and doesn’t want you to have your blessings. He’s making you wait because He wants to develop your character, change your heart, and ground you with strong roots and a foundation that will actually allow you to sustain the promise and new challenges that come with it.

When I reflect on my situation and season of waiting, nothing in my circumstances changed yet I’ve transformed and done a complete 180. Part of that transformation came from me resisting to surrendering. You are exactly where you need to be even if it doesn’t feel like it. I had to get rid of my complaining, ungrateful and victim mentality and find beauty, gratitude, and appreciation in my present circumstance. I had to heal myself from all of the lies, unforgiveness, hurt, failures and unhealthy patterns I was still carrying around. I had to stop placing my trust in what I saw around me and start trusting the One who rules and reigns over all things.

Internal transformation always precedes physical transformation.  Roots are developed before the flower sprouts. When God is orchestrating a divine shift in your life, He will always begin the shift within you first before He changes everything outside of you. The inside changes before the outside. 

Remember: no matter what you’re facing or going through, we serve a FAITHFUL God.  He will fulfill his promises and complete the work He’s started in you. That’s a FACT. You are not forgotten or forsaken.

Harvest season is coming.  Even if you don’t see it or feel it, it’s coming.  Keep doing what’s right, showing up, giving your best, doing the work, persevering, pressing forward, having faith and being obedient even when you can’t “see” the progress you’re making with your physical eyes or circumstances changing.

Galations 6:9 says “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”

KEY PHRASE: Don’t give up. Don’t rebel, seek revenge, or take matters into your own hands because God isn’t moving fast enough for you. This is your divine reminder to keep your faith, remain patient, stay planted, and keep pressing forward. Rest in the divine timing of the Lord and walk by faith. God has never and will never forsake you. If your situation isn’t good that means it’s not over. It ain’t over until it’s GOOD! Say that 3 times! Your story will not end in sadness, failure, heartbreak, depression, poverty or loss. He is the Ultimate healer, redeemer, restorer, creator, and so much more. Put on your “Goddess Glasses” and see things with spirit.

I pray in 2020 you let God do exceedingly above all that you can ever imagine.

Sincerely,

KING

Before You Go:

• I’m competing in the Miss New York USA 2020 pageant in two weeks! It’s my last year of eligibility and I’m going after my dream of becoming Miss USA one last time. If you want to support my journey, please feel free to donate here.

• Last but not least, I am an author!! You can purchase my new book, “I Lost Me When I Found You” on Amazon! This book will help you stop chasing false idols and awaken your inner goddess! Check it out here.

• Ya girl has been talking talking talking these past few months between speaking engagements and podcasts. I will add the recordings to my website and send out links for you to hear. Look out for it!